Hometown: Sterling, Virginia, USA

Undergraduate School: Public, University of Virginia 

Major: Biomedical Engineering, Applied Mathematics

GPA: 3.9

MCAT: n/a.

Medical school personal statement editing

While not a scientific endeavor, allowing Google to auto-populate queries into an empty search bar is an amusing way to glimpse at the most pressing medical needs of our modern America. In response to the incomplete search “why does my . . . ,” Google interrupts to complete the question: “. . . stomach hurt? . . . chest hurt? . . . back hurt? . . . head hurt? . . . cat lick me?” before listing a diaspora of more specific inquiries such as “why does my nose sweat?” and perhaps the more creative “what would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?” Clearly, the search bar is a place for personalized medicine and furniture visionaries alike.

Despite its peculiarities, the Google algorithm may be on to something. The top five auto-complete suggestions for “why does my . . .” (listed above) remarkably include 3 out of the 4 most common chief complaints reported during ER visits at Beth Israel in Boston, MA. Only shortness of breath is missing from the list. Such a striking comparison prompts thorough evaluation of the following hypotheses: 1) people with acute SOB know to seek medical attention in hospitals in lieu of Google, and 2) people who have seemingly any other type of pain would prefer the first opinion of WebMD.

Unfortunately, not all public opinions are so innocuous. The search “doctors are . . .” reveals disturbing attitudes toward physicians, suggesting predicates “useless, evil, overpaid, arrogant.” Surgeons do not fare much better, with the auto-filled adjectives “jerks, crazy, weird.” Yet not all medical professionals face the same criticism. By similar search methodology, nurses are “us, angels, awesome, heroes.” Such incongruity was examined in a 2017 PLOS study (Ref 1) which found greater declines in explicit empathy in medical students throughout their training compared to students of nursing and related fields. However, these results contradict the findings of a 2016 NPR poll which revealed that a clear majority (80%) of respondents described their personal medical care as “good” or “excellent.” What could explain this discrepancy?

Subjective attitudes are notoriously difficult to characterize, even with carefully constructed methodologies. On a superficial level, my undergraduate engineering education may seem to encourage the algorithmic performance-based analyses that contribute to an over-reliance on the technical aspects of medicine and perhaps devalue marginalized voices. However, this cannot be farther from the truth. Just like medicine, the practice of engineering is maintained in a continual cycle of reinvention, wholly characterized by the interactions between provider, client, and environment. My experience optimizing ceramic water filter production in South Africa taught me that the best solutions are often derived from careful listening in an effort to assess fundamental challenges. So when an exasperated patient in the ER explains that she’s already been asked “what brought you to the ED this evening?” five times before a physician even made contact with her, I see not an institutional shortcoming but an opportunity to optimize a human process for the sake of the user.

Medical journalism offers a window into the inner workings of the modern medical machine from a variety of perspectives including both patient and provider. In particular, I admire the candid writings of American surgeon Atul Gawande. In his 2014 novel Being Mortal, Gawande proposes that the ultimate goal of engaging with a career in medicine is masterful competency. I agree with Gawande’s view that competency itself creates a sense of identity for the medical profession. However, he notes there is thus no larger threat to a physician’s sense of identity than a patient who is “unfixable” (of which nature provides plenty). To its merit, the pursuit of deep competency in medicine has contributed to the discoveries that have markedly improved the average quality of life throughout human history, and my experiences working on the front lines of medicine as an EMT and medical scribe have reinforced in my mind the value of quality medical interventionism. However, I believe that the idea of complete mastery refracts what doctors are capable of into what the public now expects of modern medicine, creating tensions on both sides of the patient-provider dichotomy. I would like to become a physician to realize the potential of empathetic medicine to revolutionize how medical care is administered and ultimately help patients maintain a greater sense of autonomy both in the nuances of daily living and the challenges at the end of life.

It is true that the institutions of medicine are well-established, and healthcare is a complex network complete with thousands of regulatory clusters and millions of individual nodes that deserve the benefit of time-forged respect. Yet if there is one thing I wish to contribute during my nascent entry into medicine, it is that the life of ideas does not yield to eternal pedagogical rigidity. Instead, medicine glimpses into the life of individuals who offer opportunities to reinvent healthcare and suggest incremental steps toward even a well-tempered mastery.

(1) http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0183352

Analysis

J.C. begins with a witty introduction that immediately captures his readers’ attention. His topic of choice, Google searches, might initially seem mundane, but it quickly becomes relatable and enables his curious and humorous personality to shine through. As he continues to carefully present information and questions for readers to consider, he gives readers a glimpse into the way he thinks and demonstrates that he is both analytical and critical of the current state of health care and medical institutions.

Despite the essay’s focus on his intellectual curiosities, J.C. strikes an effective balance between writing about ideas that fascinate him and his own experiences. For instance, he elegantly connects his background in engineering to medicine, drawing parallels between the value of reinvention in both fields. He also applies key learnings from his international experiences in South Africa to better understand his interactions with patients in the ER. This strategic placement of relevant experiences effectively allows him to not only contextualize why particular ideas in medicine interest him but also to showcase the variety of work he has done.

These experiences and ideas effectively build up to the strong declaration in J.C.’s concluding paragraphs. They serve as a fitting backdrop as he makes a convincing and memorable case for how he hopes to contribute to medicine.

From 50 Successful Harvard Medical School Essays edited by the Staff of the Harvard Crimson. Copyright (c) 2020 by the authors and reprinted by permission of St. Martin's Publishing Group