Hometown:  Cary, Illinois, USA

Undergraduate School: Private, Carleton College

Major: Biology and Philosophy

GPA: 3.67

MCAT: 37. PS: 14, V: 12, BS: 11.

Free example medical school personal statement

As Deo stopped talking and drifted out of consciousness, his head sagged and his body went limp. Suddenly his limbs struck out violently, struggling. His muscles locked as his back arched. Finally, he collapsed. Shortly thereafter he regained consciousness, sat up and began conversing as usual. Called from my home in rural Tanzania by a gang of excited students, I had trekked with them through the darkness of night as we carried Deo, unconscious, to the witch doctor’s home. Having arrived, I sat in helpless agony watching Deo’s cyclic fits. I weakly asked, “Has he taken any medication?” “We don’t run to the needle,” his parents replied, a bit of Swahili folk wisdom meaning that only if the witch doctor failed would they consider alternatives.

I did not dare suggest that Deo’s condition was not caused by, as all others present seemed to believe, “bad spirits.” Nor did I criticize the treatments that I witnessed: covering Deo in cloth as he breathed the fumes of burning brush until passing out, drinking concoctions made from various powders and cutting his chest with a razor blade and rubbing liquids into the wounds. Having already witnessed several fits which were occurring at hourly intervals and frustrated with the situation, I offered to pay for a van to carry Deo to a distant hospital so that he might be seen by a medical doctor. After all, I suggested, if that treatment didn’t help he could always return to the witch doctor. With neither medical knowledge nor access to it, I had nothing more to contribute.

I already knew that Deo had a history of medical problems. Complaining of joint pain too great to bear, his attendance in my classes was poor. A terrible sort of acne scarred his face, ever unable to heal before new eruptions developed. Was this somehow connected to his convulsions? Despite his condition, Deo’s spirit was indomitable, having already soared to the peak of Mount Kilimanjaro with me on a field trip. As President of our Debate Club, Deo led his peers with an unfailing determination to improve their English and had been instrumental in building our club up from one debate each semester to several debates each week.

After offering what assistance I could to Deo and his family, I left the witch doctor’s home and returned to my secondary school, focusing on my work as a teacher in the Peace Corps. In the “bush” school where seven teachers and I struggled to offer an education to 500 high school age students, we found ourselves in a system deprived of resources. Most importantly, our school needed more teachers. Although I could not bring them, I promised my students that I would teach them after school, on the weekends and during vacations free of charge if they would attend. The first time we met after school, I looked into seventy upturned faces and saw hope.

If my students were drinking gourds, then I was filling them with knowledge. Day after day, drip after drop, we worked relentlessly, increasing the odds that they would experience a fuller life. Drip! Kened Ndomba can distinguish adjectives from adverbs in the English language. Drop! Sairis Nombo knows more about babies and base pairs than she ever would have. Perhaps most importantly, in a village as threatened by AIDS as ours is, they both know and will never forget their ABCs (Abstain, Be faithful, use a Condom).

Three days after carrying Deo to the witch doctor, his parents called me from outside of the classroom in the middle of a lesson. His condition had not improved so we made the journey to a distant hospital as he continued to have episodes on the floor of the van. Upon arrival, Deo was given Dilantin and quickly settled down. Passing the night without incident, he returned home the following day, pills in hand, and suffered only a single episode the next week.

After three years as a part of Deo’s community, I understand the unique sacrifices necessary to work with the underserved. I also know the unparalleled satisfaction of teaching Kened and Sairis lessons that they otherwise would not have been taught. It is the voices of those living without access to basic services that call me to a career in medicine as a doctor who cares for the underserved.

I have witnessed how poverty, unemployment, homelessness, a lack of transportation, and barriers to communication limit access to healthcare in both Tanzania and the United States. A critical facet of my medical school education will involve learning how we can overcome such complex challenges in order to ensure quality care for all patients.

As a physician, I envision myself as a community catalyst, consensus builder, founding member, tireless advocate, project coordinator, primary investigator and teacher of medicine. I have chosen to apply to medical schools where physicians with bold ideas are nurtured so that their dreams can take shape. What I seek is not unlike what I provided for three years to my students in Tanzania: a quality education built upon a foundation of caring and commitment. With such an education, I will be well prepared to serve my community to the best of my ability by expanding its access to medical care.

Analysis

Gregory immediately reels us into his story, immersing us into the dramatic storyline of Deo’s medical complications. The narrative reads like a fictional folk story, and that makes it even more powerful, considering how this experience is reality for certain communities. He does an incredible job of juxtaposing his modern, American perspective as an educator with this community with limited resources. He shows how he respected the traditions of this Tanzanian community but also how he used his modern medical background to try to see if there were possible alternate solutions. This demonstrates to the reader that Gregory understands the nuances of culture and values but also stays true to his commitment to helping others to the best of his abilities.

Gregory excels at depicting how he connects with others, especially his students. His story of teaching others is inspiring, and his passion for helping those with fewer resources shines through. Through the story he tells, he implicitly shows us different characteristics about himself, which he then concretely describes in his concluding paragraph to make it clear to the reader who he is and what he values.

From 50 Successful Harvard Medical School Essays edited by the Staff of the Harvard Crimson. Copyright (c) 2020 by the authors and reprinted by permission of St. Martin's Publishing Group